Ok I fixed both probs
My MilkDrop.xml got corrupt prolly from me playing with the settings 2 much
so I downloaded XBMC and got a fresh .xml outta there.
The other problem was becos the directory was bigger than 20GB so it was having trouble reading all the tags, the fix is to scan all the songs to the database and use the library view instead then it doesnt have to reload all the time.
Hope this helps anybody who had these probs lol.